For a while now I’ve been feeling really upset. Growing up has become very stressful and is a concept that has overtaken the way I think.

Lately, I’ve been missing days I had wasted looking forward to being older, when I was in middle school all I did was wish I could have my own car, I wished I was in high school, being allowed to have sleepovers on school nights and going to parties, I wished I was older.

That’s the irony of this whole thing, we’re told to hold on to our youth and almost all of us don’t listen, we rush towards any opportunity to feel more independent, more mature.

I think we all have moments where we feel older, and what I mean by that is, like the first time you drive your car by yourself and it’s so exciting and all the sudden you feel ten years older, or like when you try your first sip of alcohol and feel so cool and so mature. There are just little moments in life that make you conscious that you’re growing up. With each one of those moments that I have had, a little bit of sadness has set in, because lately I haven’t wanted to grow up, and I think the reason for this is because I know my next check point is going to college, and a huge part of me is scared. I’m nervous to be alone, to move away from Virginia Beach for the first time in my life, to not be around any of my family or old friends, and to start over with a whole new crowd.

I started to worry that I hadn’t done enough over the four years in high school, worried I didn’t have enough memories and worried that I hadn’t made enough friends, I was scared that I had wasted it.

But as I go back through the memories I had captured over the past four years, in order to make my end of high school video, I realize that I had learned, and experienced more in my past four years of life than I ever have before. I met all of my closest friends, traveled, and laughed more than I ever have.

But most importantly I realized that just because high school has now past, and I reached all the goals my middle school self had set in place, the “glory days” aren’t over until I decide they are.

Internal Youth has nothing to do with age.

Becoming an adult doesn’t sacrifice your youth.

To me youth is your curiosity, your willingness to have fun and make the best out of things, it’s exciting and spontaneous, and it’s a choice.

So although I am sad to leave this chapter of my life and nervous for what the next may hold, I invite it with open arms and all that comes with it.

Welcome to college!


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