We all have a lot of best friends in our life, each coming in all different shapes and sizes and each teaching us different lessons that we will take with us for the rest of our lives. They all help us to grow and mature and help us find ourselves in the process of loving them, and each serve such a significant purpose. 

I’m a sentimental person, and am always looking for a purpose or a positive in every situation, so even in all my past friendships, no matter how they ended or how they were in quality, I constantly thank those who have been in my life in the past and look for the lessons they taught me and the meaning behind them entering my life…

My elementary school best friends taught me I was never much of a pony and barbie kind of girl

My middle school best friends taught me all the lyrics to every one direction song, and shaped me into my funny self, gave me my sense if humor and helped me through puberty

My highschool friends helped me through boys, and family drama, and mental health,

And then theres Kenda…

I’ve been trying to figure out what crazy lesson I’m going to learn from this crazy girl since the day that I met her, and I think I finally know…. 

Kenda, Kenda, Kenda, where do I even start? She was my first and only college best friend. The first night I met Kenda she was drunk wearing a cowboy hat she had made out of a cardboard bud light box and from that night forward I just knew I wanted her to be my friend so bad. By night two we were both sitting outside on the lawn of campus promising each other we would be each other’s best friends and we would do everything together. By the beginning of the second semester we had switched roommates to room together and were so attached at the hip that even our boyfriends were jealous of the amount of time we had spent together. 

I went through literally everything with kenda my freshman year, I went from never knowing her to instantly knowing she was going to be my person for the next four years. And unlike any other friend i’ve had, I’m just so sure that kenda is someone i’ll know forever. 

Kenda didn’t know me growing up, unlike any other friend I’ve had, I really had a fresh start with Kenda and was able to really be myself and Kenda instantly showed me her true colors, I just never felt like it was a new friendship, from day one I felt like I had known this girl for years, and what made it even better was she made an effort to fill in for the lost time of not knowing me before college. She made an effort to know and get along with all my home friends, some of which she talks to even more than me now, and they all loved her so much, how couldn’t they, she was just like me! She met my parents and made it a point to get so close to them, and she was always so interested in my stories and memories from home, which in a way made me feel like a piece of home was with Kenda at school. I could talk about family and friend drama at home and she understood, and she helped genuinely, she was the only person on all of campus that took the time and got to know me well enough for me to be able to really open up and find comfort in her, which instantly made me want to do the same, and now I facetime Kenda just to say hi to her friends a family who have accepted me and loved me instantly as well. I just feel so loved by Kenda and her people and love how loved she is by mine. It’s so comforting. 

I’m now at a point in my life where I don’t have a large group of friends, I dont have many loose ends. I’ve matured now and my circle has grown smaller and smaller, theres no longer cliques or popularity contests, theres just life and the people around you that push you to succeed and those who don’t simply don’t stick around, but a common theme is, whatever I’m doing, wherever I am, either Kenda is there, or I’m thinking about how much more fun of a time I’d be having if she was, and this is important and the reason I think a blog post is so warranted for this crackhead of a human. Because I finally feel like I know what lesson Kenda has taught me.

Unlike many other friends where the lessons taught me about my relationship with others or about a certain time period in my life, I think Kenda’s lesson is different.

I’m becoming an adult with her, making actual real life plans, working towards them, and having Kenda’s support in them. I’m learning to, and becoming an adult with Kenda, and watching and supporting her in doing the same.

Yes Kenda has helped me through boys, but the difference is she helped me through my first SERIOUS boy, the first boy i could realistically see myself marrying and it was actually a possibility. 

Yes Kenda helped me find my interests and learn more about myself, but she helped me by helping me study and apply to internships and helped me with my ten hours of make up work so I could be successful in my work force.

Yes Kenda helped me with my mental health, but she watched me have break downs about my frist adult issues, my first car breakdown without my parents, my first time having to figure out money, my first time having to go to therapy on my own…

What I’m trying to say is, the lesson Kenda taught me is that she is permanent. For the first time I have a friend that I have gone through so much with, and hold so extremely close to my heart that I could never ever see her going anywhere. I know she is who I’m going to live with all four years of college, I know we will always be known as Kenda and Kaiden on campus, never as individuals, I know I am going to live wherever she lives out of college because I know I cannot do life without her, and even if I could, I don’t want to. 

For the first time I really know who my very best friend is, and it is the best feeling ever. I wouldn’t trade my Kenda for the world. In fact, I don’t think I’d be the Kaiden I am if I had never found my Kenda. 

So here’s my life lesson for this blog post… growing up it’s like a competition for who can have the most friends, go out the most weekends in a row, do the craziest shit with their friends. Even when you think you’ve found your best friends. It always feels like you constantly have to prove yourself and your worth, but in the long run, as I’ve gotten older, and as anyone else reading this will do or have already done, you find those few special people in your life that really allow you to learn and grow and prove their loyalty and love for you in ways you’ll never have felt, and all the sudden all of the proving yourself and the constant pressure of “keeping your friends” will fade and you’ll find your permanents, your people that you will have comfort in knowing will be there forever, and none of the other stuff will matter, no one else’s opinions will matter, no mistake you can make will matter, no learning experience or change you will go through will matter because you’ll have your person or people around you that will be happy to watch you grow and who will prove to you time and time again that they will always be there. You’ve heard it before, every moms favorite line “one good friend is better than a big group of friends.” and THEY’RE RIGHT PEOPLE… Find the people that make you the best version of yourself and stick with them, that’s what I’m doing with Kenda.

I want my kids to know Kenda, I want Kenda to approve of my husband, I want her at every milestone from here on out because in my mind, her opinion is all that matters because I value her so much. That’s how I know Kenda is my forever friend. 

And Kenda, my country bumpkin, since I know you’re reading this cause you are my most supportive companion, HERE’S YOUR BLOG POST. You already know how much I love you, but for real I cannot wait to show these videos and stories and memories of you and I to our kids, and to go on joint family vacas and talk about all the memories we haven’t even made yet, 

Thank you for being the very best friend I have ever had, I promise to be yours until we’re old and grey. I love you more than I will ever love any husband or boy I could ever meet, We are more than married bitch, we’re connected… I LOVE YOU. 

Watch a montage of some of me and kenda’s memories so far here.

P.S. once you’ve finished reading and watching the video, text me for the Spotify playlist I finally made for you!!!

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